I Never Used to Have Feelings...
- Raquel Banis
- 4 days ago
- 1 min read
Honestly, I used to think it was the best.
A superpower almost.
Like I had a one-up on others.
When I read that now.
It literally hurts in my whole body.
Heavy nausea.
Shame.
It's always shame.
SPF taught me that.
Ok well she helped me figure it out on my own, kinda.
I could NOT for the life of me understand why ANYONE would want to deal with feelings. They complicated everything. So much ambiguity.
NEVER enough context for me. Plus they felt so out of reach. They made less sense to me than algebra.
Re-learning feelings after suppressing them for so long was not delightful at all.
Shoutout to Brené Brown and her book "Atlas of the Heart" for helping me understand what each feeling actually meant. Gave me "feelings for dummies" vibes (in the most positive way, no shade on those books, I love em).
Then along came this poem:
It helped me understand that I needed to face my emotions, and not only face them, but let them IN.
The part where the "crowd of sorrows" cleans shit out, ooohhhh that slaps.
Really brought home the whole "you never know what you're going to get out of life" concept. One door closes, another opens. I think you get the vibe.
I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this post. I think the moral was something along the lines of, "feelings ain't all bad".
My life, is an actual life, now that I have feelings. Being mindful and in the moment allows me to actually feel them.
Both painful and joyful, and everything in between.
Voting Time! Feelings are...
Awesome
Alright
Neutral
Bad
You can vote for more than one answer.
xoxo moi
Comments have ratings now, neat! Obviously 5 stars 😅